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Remember, my classmate back in college.”That was when it struck me. I had attempted to rag her in college assuming she was my junior.“Are you going to stay here?”, she asked.“Yes. For a while. Until I find an apartment for myself”, I said.The three of us started talking about college and cultural fests and the fun we had. The topic slowly moved to ragging.“You were our junior, and yet we have never ragged you”, Archana said.“Well, we were friends, weren’t we?” I said.“No problem. You are new here. You might as well be ragged by us now”, Deepa said.“That’s a good idea”, Archana said.“Haha! No way”, I said.“Come on. Don’t be shy. We aren’t going to ask you to do anything crazy”, Deepa said.“Okay, let’s see”, I said.The moment I said that, Deepa got up and locked the door and windows.“Let’s start with senior worship”, Archana said.“What’s that?”“We will teach you. Kneel down”, Deepa said. It sounded more like an order to me.However, I decided to play along. I knelt down. Both Archana. ..Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).Persons selected to be RAPEDcan apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFTprogram (Special Help After Forced Termination).Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTEDwill be reviewed under the SCREWprogram (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).A person may be RAPEDonce, SHAFTEDtwice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.Persons who havebeenRAPEDcould get AIDS(Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES(Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).Obviously persons who have AIDSor HERPESwill not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.Persons who are not RAPEDand are staying on will receive as much SHIT(Special High.
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